BRICKS is almost here. Yea! (Yikes!)

My debut YA, BRICKS, is just weeks from publication (Feb. 3 from Anaiah Press). The final galleys have been submitted, the blog tour will begin soon, and the book trailer is waiting to be revealed. I am excited–and terrified.

I can’t speak for all authors (or even some), but from what I can glean from things they say on social and traditional media, the fear of a book failing never strays far from thought. I have this same fear, but maybe not for the same reasons.

Growing up, I was very active in sports. I loved testing my abilities against the clock, the stats, or others. My two favorite sports were baseball and football, and after I stopped playing baseball in college, I learned another reason why I loved those sports. In those sports, I never needed anyone to tell me how good I was. If I made the tackle or scored the touchdown that was reward in itself. Getting a base hit, knocking in a run, making the out, or a diving grab–they were all the same. The job was black or white–I did or I didn’t. On those plays where exceptional effort was required, my internal critic stepped in with an extra pat on the back. Don’t be me wrong, I had great coaches and supportive parents, but I didn’t need their approval. The sport and my performance provided measurable, immediate feedback–both good and bad. Do good? Congrats. Fail? Work harder. Easy.

I was always a creative kid, and I remember my endeavors in that stretch to be far different. I would draw something and need to show it to someone or write something and hand it off to be read. I had no standard against which to measure it. And now, with only days before my first book is released, I’m petrified by the very word that works to both publish writers and prevent them from being published: Subjective–also known as “taste”.

In sports, there is no “taste”. You either get the job done or you don’t. Subjectivity is a brand new standard of measurement for me, one that I’m having a hard time adjusting to–but one I know I’m going to have to get used to as I plan to make sure this first book is not my last.